A recent trip to the grocery store tweaked my ever-present disdain for corporate America and their condescending attitude toward the American consumer.
I love butter. I mean, I LOVE butter. My mother used to tell the story of how she had a pound of butter out on a kitchen table softening as she was baking something and she looked up to find me, at 2 years old, gleefully stuffing wads of half-softened butter down my gullet. True to my habitual self, when I need butter, I whip over to the dairy section and grab my favorite box of Land o Lakes butter (salted) with the pretty picture of the Native American on the box. Did Native Americans invent butter or something?!?! Anyway, the other day I grab my butter, along with the other items I needed, headed home, stored my groceries and quickly returned to my favorite activity.....staring at the ceiling. Later that evening, I opened my new box of butter and was surprised when I pull out a stick of butter that was half as long as the usual stick of butter. That is, an 1/8 pound stubby of butter. At first I wondered whether there had been some industrial packaging incident at the factory, then I was shocked to see a little red circle on the box announcing the "...new convenient half stick..." or some such nonsense. Then I got a bit pissed off. I mean, WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT HERE !!???!!??!! I can see packaging butter in a box that only contains two sticks for people who just don't eat the much butter. I can see packaging butter in a one pound block (hell I'd buy it in 20 pound blocks !!!). But I fail to see any substantive reason to cut the traditional 1/4 sticks in half....it just doesn't improve the product in any way. And THAT is what pisses me off so much when companies pull this kind of bone headed stunt. Who do they think they are helping by doing this? Is there a segment of our society who can't afford dinner tables large enough to accommodate dinner AND a full stick of butter? Are half sized butter dishes the new rage? Of all of the things that Land O Lakes might do to improve their products is this the best they could come up with???
I imagine there's some LoL (no pun intended) executive who got a big bonus for his new 'development idea'..."ahhh, I've got it, smaller buttersticks. That's it....people need sticks of butter half as large as we give them today!!!"
PUHLEASE!!!!
Now it's on to the tuna aisle. So these bozos are selling fish that's had every bit of flavor steamed out of it. They sell a food product that's laced with mercury. Now, they think that people are so stupid that we can't tell that even though the 3 oz. can of tuna still weighs 3 oz., the ratio of tuna to water (or oil) has dropped significantly.
Everybody knows that prices increase over time. I don't think anybody would be surprised that a 3 oz can of Chicken of the Sea that cost 99 cents 8 years ago will probably cost more now. But no...why would corporate American risk the possibility of people deciding not to buy tuna because it's too expensive? They can just make sure that they're never required to list how much actual fish is in the can, then lower the amount of actual fish anyway, and keep the price the same forever. People will never realize it, right? I mean, come on, the consumer is too fucking stupid for that. Never mind that a can of tuna that used to provide enough fish flavored sawdust for 4 sandwiches now provides enough for 2.
What'll it be by 2025? A can of tuna will still be 99 cents. Upon opening the can, the consumer will be presented with 2.95 ounces of cold mercury-laced broth with a single, delicate FLAKE of tuna floating luxuriously in its midst. So, all you'll need is 10 cans to make a sandwich. How Zen.
But hey, at least the price didn't go up!!!
I love butter. I mean, I LOVE butter. My mother used to tell the story of how she had a pound of butter out on a kitchen table softening as she was baking something and she looked up to find me, at 2 years old, gleefully stuffing wads of half-softened butter down my gullet. True to my habitual self, when I need butter, I whip over to the dairy section and grab my favorite box of Land o Lakes butter (salted) with the pretty picture of the Native American on the box. Did Native Americans invent butter or something?!?! Anyway, the other day I grab my butter, along with the other items I needed, headed home, stored my groceries and quickly returned to my favorite activity.....staring at the ceiling. Later that evening, I opened my new box of butter and was surprised when I pull out a stick of butter that was half as long as the usual stick of butter. That is, an 1/8 pound stubby of butter. At first I wondered whether there had been some industrial packaging incident at the factory, then I was shocked to see a little red circle on the box announcing the "...new convenient half stick..." or some such nonsense. Then I got a bit pissed off. I mean, WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT HERE !!???!!??!! I can see packaging butter in a box that only contains two sticks for people who just don't eat the much butter. I can see packaging butter in a one pound block (hell I'd buy it in 20 pound blocks !!!). But I fail to see any substantive reason to cut the traditional 1/4 sticks in half....it just doesn't improve the product in any way. And THAT is what pisses me off so much when companies pull this kind of bone headed stunt. Who do they think they are helping by doing this? Is there a segment of our society who can't afford dinner tables large enough to accommodate dinner AND a full stick of butter? Are half sized butter dishes the new rage? Of all of the things that Land O Lakes might do to improve their products is this the best they could come up with???
I imagine there's some LoL (no pun intended) executive who got a big bonus for his new 'development idea'..."ahhh, I've got it, smaller buttersticks. That's it....people need sticks of butter half as large as we give them today!!!"
PUHLEASE!!!!
Now it's on to the tuna aisle. So these bozos are selling fish that's had every bit of flavor steamed out of it. They sell a food product that's laced with mercury. Now, they think that people are so stupid that we can't tell that even though the 3 oz. can of tuna still weighs 3 oz., the ratio of tuna to water (or oil) has dropped significantly.
Everybody knows that prices increase over time. I don't think anybody would be surprised that a 3 oz can of Chicken of the Sea that cost 99 cents 8 years ago will probably cost more now. But no...why would corporate American risk the possibility of people deciding not to buy tuna because it's too expensive? They can just make sure that they're never required to list how much actual fish is in the can, then lower the amount of actual fish anyway, and keep the price the same forever. People will never realize it, right? I mean, come on, the consumer is too fucking stupid for that. Never mind that a can of tuna that used to provide enough fish flavored sawdust for 4 sandwiches now provides enough for 2.
What'll it be by 2025? A can of tuna will still be 99 cents. Upon opening the can, the consumer will be presented with 2.95 ounces of cold mercury-laced broth with a single, delicate FLAKE of tuna floating luxuriously in its midst. So, all you'll need is 10 cans to make a sandwich. How Zen.
But hey, at least the price didn't go up!!!
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