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H2O

I rented some DVDs the other day. They included a series from PBS called 'Carrier', a documentary series about life onboard the Nimitz aircraft carrier. Some of the footage featured the guys who work on the flight deck (one of the most dangerous places in the world to work by the way). These people have to work wearing colored shirts that designate what job they do, vests, gloves, ear protection, and helmets. I noticed that the vests are called 'camelbacks' and are actually bladders that are filled with water before going to work. There's a tube that allows the person wearing the camelback to draw water throughout the day. This very handy when you work in a place where the average temperature (when you're not in a desert climate which is even worse) is around 115 degrees.

Then I started thinking about a trend that has developed over the past twenty years or so that really annoys me -- every bozo in the world carrying bottles of water around with them every second of the day, as if they worked the flight deck of the Nimitz. I used to wonder how this trend had come about, but now I know. A few years ago I was diagnosed with type II diabetes. One of the things I did to try to combat the condition was to hire a personal trainer and start working out. One of the first things my trainer told me to do was to start drinking at LEAST some God-aweful amount of water per day (I can't remember exactly how much), because I really needed to hydrate. Remember that word, hydrate. Apparently, unless you're carrying around a bottle of water all day (or using one of the aforementioned camelbacks) you're not hydrated enough. Then started noticing that every diet plan in the world recommends, you guessed it, consuming vast amounts of water everyday to lose weight. Now, I'm an old guy so I remember the days before all of this nonsense. People went about their business, stopped and had a drink of water now and then, and generally seemed fine. People today, carrying around their water bottles in the special little pocket for it in their backpacks don't look any different to me than they did 30 years ago before all of this began. So, I think the benefits of hydration (or over-hydration) are bull. The reason trainers and diet gurus tell you to drink a lot of water is simple -- it bloats you and staves off between carrot stick hunger.

Now, some people point out that their bottled water is healthier than tap water and tastes better, despite study after study that has shown that most of the bottled water sold in this country doesn't taste any better nor is it any healthier than what runs right out of the average kitchen tap. Once again, a whole generation has fallen for a bunch of Madison Avenue crap. I remember once, before all of this bottled water bunk started, there was a shopping center in a town in Florida where I grew up. By shopping center, I mean shopping center, not a mall. Outside of the grocery store stood a machine offering a gallon of 'better tasting', 'healthier' water for the price of one dollar. You provided your own container (old gas can, recycled laundry detergent bottle) and this machine would dispense a gallon of this golden nectar from heaven. It was later found that this wonder machine was simply hooked up to a garden hose, which was hooked into the external faucet of the shopping center.

So I say stop carrying around a water bottle all day. If you need a drink of water, find a fountain, hose, or kitchen sink and pour one. If you're going to carry a bottle around and nip on it all day make it Jim Beam!

Comments

Traveler said…
I absolutely agree about the carrying around of water and all the idiotic hype around the hydration issue. I guess I'm weird too but I can clearly taste the chlorine in water that comes from the tap and has been filtered through a "Britta," spelt Brita filter. To get off the subject somewhat:
Spelling is a visual representation of a sound. That's all it is. Like music notation. This bullshit idea that since the English language has a lot of exceptions etc., that idiots have some license to screw around and think they're smart when they do the kindergarten thing with the simple spelling of a word. You want it pronounced a certain way, spell it that way, dufus.
Traveler said…
I absolutely agree about the carrying around of water and all the idiotic hype around the hydration issue. I guess I'm weird too but I can clearly taste the chlorine in water that comes from the tap and has been filtered through a "Britta," spelt Brita filter. To get off the subject somewhat:
Spelling is a visual representation of a sound. That's all it is. Like music notation. This bullshit idea that since the English language has a lot of exceptions etc., that idiots have some license to screw around and think they're smart when they do the kindergarten thing with the simple spelling of a word. You want it pronounced a certain way, spell it that way, dufus.

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