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Carryalls

I was coming up out of the subway today and I noticed a young woman coming down the escalator with a GINORMOUS 'hand' bag. This thing was made out of leather, was about 3 times as big as she was, was so heavy that it was dragging her down the escalator like a horse drawn carriage, and looked like if one unfolded it it could be used as an open air shelter in the Iraqi desert. The little thing looked exhaused hefting this thing left, right, forward, back, its sides bulging like those old Xmastime paintings of Santa Clause arriving down the chimney with a loaded bag of goodies.
I understand the need for carry bags in an urban environment, I've even been known to load my cell phone, iPod, a couple of geek computer books, and a hard drive into a backpack once in a while, but this seems to be getting out of hand. Is it really necessary for people to carry around bags loaded with 40-50 pounds of detritus? What IS this stuff they're all carrying around anyway?
Well let's see. There's the billfold, books, unbrellas, headphones, laptops, the ever-present fucking bottle of water (another fad I detest...does anybody remember water fountains!!!????), shoes, and that's all I can figure out that people are carrying around for the most part. But look at the bags...there's gotta be more. What could t be?
I think that if I was going to torture myself carrying around a big heavy bag like that, I'd make damned sure that I had some head-turning material in there.
Imagine you lug your bag through a crowded subway station, find the last space on a crowded bench, open your bag and pull out a SEA TORTOISE!!! THAT would turn some heads, huh? Or one of those giant, tavern bartop jars of pickled pigs feet! You know, get people to wondering a little bit.
Maybe I'd get together with a friend and open up the bags and have a sack race...I dunno. There's just GOT to be something better to do, or a better reason to put one self through the drudgery of carrying one of these things around all day just to have a bunch of little stuff that you don't really NEED with you.
Or maybe there's a burgeoning market for burros about to appear.....

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